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One of the lines that is widely known, spoken by Bakabon’s father in Tensai Bakabon, a representative work by manga artist Fujio Akatsuka, is “Even when I try to forget, I can’t remember.”

 

In this video work, I pose this phrase to various people and ask them to talk about experiences related to “Even when I try to forget, I can’t remember.” While they speak, I ask them to draw images that come to mind on paper. After the conversation ends, the drawings are torn into small pieces, then rolled up like hand-rolled cigarettes and formed into cigarettes. Finally, the participants are asked to smoke a cigarette made from “Even when I try to forget, I can’t remember.”

 

The phrase “Even when I try to forget, I can’t remember” feels like language whose meaning has collapsed, yet it somehow continues to resonate. For someone who has undergone painful experiences, the words may evoke trauma. Even within ordinary daily life, there are events that remain emotionally and mentally unresolved for the person themselves.

 

I feel that the act of making and smoking a hand-rolled cigarette is an introspective moment. The weight of that introspection after finishing a cigarette gradually becomes lighter, like smoke, and eventually seems to fade away. This sensation became the motivation for creating this work.

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